The fight to end the persecution of black people must bring change. I’m hopeful for that. 

I believe that we (white America) are generationally responsible for this. We wouldn’t be here if we hadn’t enforced slavery to begin with. Personally, I should have taken more time to listen, changed my priorities, and not looked away when things were said in my proximity. It starts with me.

In order to do this effectively and create positive change, we must try to come from a place of centeredness. 

According to the Tao, the middle is the way toward universal harmony. There are extremes in all circumstance and it is our purpose to constantly strive toward the center of our being to connect with this harmony. This doesn't mean sit on the fence, this means go inward to seek truth; let yourself be disrupted and seek the space between. This is where the truth of our being lives.

We must choose to be on the side of mercy, love, and grace, but in order to do this honestly we have to have a difficult confrontation to our contribution.

I have so much to learn and am committing myself to doing that. I’d like to share what one of my coaches, Jacque Saltsman, has gathered as resources to better understand.

She also suggests signing up for the Whiteness at Work class taking place next week. I’m registered. 

I believe that love will prevail through courageous acts of turning within and moving that understanding to action. I hope you join me. 
​
Jacque Saltsman Post from May 29

EDITED 6/2/20 * After several people asked to share this post publicly outside of Facebook, I wanted to make sure it is centered around and gives credit to the Black Women from which I have learned. Many are listed below, but especially Demetria Miles McDonald at Decide Diversity, Lettie Johnson at Gifted By Design Leadership & Consulting Firm, Desiree Adaway, Austin Channing Brown, and Roxane Gay.
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"But what can I do?" I can't tell you how many times I've asked myself that question or heard other people ask it. Well, the answer is: A LOT. There is a lot we can do. And WE (white America) are responsible for changing this. So, to my white friends, here are some ideas of what we can do. These are things I've learned from teachers and activists of color I've been following and learning from over the past few years. It's not comprehensive. It's a start. Please add more resources in the comments and I'll update the list.

TAKE ACTION.
Make the calls. Send the emails. Write the letters. Sign the petitions. March at the protests. It helps. Follow trustworthy sources who tend to have calls-to-actions in their posts (Shaun King, Black Lives Matter, Black Lives Matter Louisville, Showing Up for Racial Justice (SURJ), Louisville SURJ - (Showing Up for Racial Justice), Grassroots Law Project.

EDUCATE YOURSELF on systemic racism.
Read books like WHITE FRAGILITY (I can't recommend this one enough) by Robin DiAngelo, BIASED by Dr. Jennifer Eberhardt, ME & WHITE SUPREMACY by Layla F. Saad, I'M STILL HERE by Austin Channing Brown, STAMPED and HOW TO BE ANTIRACIST by Ibram X. Kendi.

HIRE PEOPLE OF COLOR to help you and your organization change. 
My local favorites are Decide Diversity and Lettie Johnson & SteVon Edwards-Mph with Gifted By Design Leadership & Consulting Firm.

LEARN ON SOCIAL MEDIA (AND PAY THEM FOR THEIR PROGRAMS). 
Fill your feeds (FB, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn) with activists and teachers who are doing this work. Some of my favorites are Layla F. Saad (IG @laylafsaad), Hannah Drake (IG @hannahdrake628), Desiree Adaway (IG @desireeadaway), Jessica Fish (IG @j.essicafish), Ericka Hart (IG @ihartericka), Roxane Gay (IG @roxanegay74), Ericka Hines (IG @divahines), Rachel Elizabeth Cargle (IG @rachel.cargel) Shaun King (IG @shaunking), Black Lives Matter (IG @blklivesmatter).
*There will be times when you will not like what they are saying. It will sting but stick with it. This isn't about your feelings. It's about dismantling racism. Sit with the hard questions and ask yourself how it's true for you.

CONSUME MEDIA (movies, tv, books, podcasts, music, art) written, directed, starring and featuring people who don't look like you. And not just about racial issues. And NOT movies made by white people about black people. If you like comedies, watch funny movies created by people of color. Same with books, podcasts and shows.

SAME WITH SOCIAL MEDIA
Make sure at least 1/4 of your feeds are from people who don't look like you. If you're into design, follow black designers. Same with cars, food, literally anything you are interested in.

SUPPORT BUSINESSES OWNED BY PEOPLE OF COLOR. 
Be intentional about where you spend your money. Think about where you eat, shop and who you do business with. If there aren't black people on that list, change it. (btw, If you haven't eaten at Lucretia's Kitchen, you are seriously missing out.)

GET SUPPORT
Reach out. Lean on each other. Engage your white friends who are also learning. (Check on your Black friends, but DO NOT go to them with your feelings of guilt, shame, fear or uncertainty).
This is hard work, but not nearly as hard as fearing for your life just because of the color of your skin.
#neverbesilent #dothework 
Lives depend on it.
If we don't have an intentional anti-racist plan for ourselves, our families and our businesses, then we are unintentionally perpetuating racism.
And THAT MUST STOP. NOW.
(I am still a toddler on this journey, but if I can help you in any way, please let me know.)

The beautiful thing about the world under quarantine is we’re finding new ways to connect and lift one another up. I was actually inspired by the commercials last night after tuning in to Survivor (it felt fitting).  ​

It seems that the Universe has delivered again when my focus for the year was to reign in energetically. This slowing down provides a gift of deliberate allowance for what needs to come up for us to work through. Aren’t we trying not to fall back into old patterns of doing things? Trying to find compassion and the beauty in each moment? We have to believe there is something bigger than any of us can comprehend waiting on the other side. 

In this place of uncertainty, one gift we can offer ourselves and community is allowance. There has been a strong desire to connect with you all, but we’re not sure how to do that when the Cave seems to be the place of refuge. We understand everyone is dealing with their own struggles around this displacement but we want your input on how to best serve you when we reopen. 

We decided to take preventative measures last week and close before any mandates came out because prevention and community are core values. The only thing known by Friday of last week was that we didn’t know enough, and it was best for us to step back to regroup so that we could serve our community on the back end of this thing. 

So that’s what we’re doing. We’re working on ensuring the safest possible environment for your salt therapy experience. This modality is going to be more essential than ever with the need for healthy lung and immune function being a priority for us all.

And we’re being very intentional with this recent gift of time. 

Our family has been reading The Giver this week. This futuristic world shelters their community from the pains and pleasures of life, because it makes for good order, but there was so much hidden from the people in the process. 

Our daily discussions around the story and what is happening in our world give us talking points about our ability to create freedom through choice and we’re learning so much from our children who provide unique perspectives.

The Four Agreements shares the wisdom of the Toltec who believe our dreams (conscious and unconscious) create our reality. If this is true, what do we have to learn from what we’ve created so far? What are you doing every day to create the future you want to be a part of? 

I want to know. And I want to slow down enough to love you through it all. 

Last month I mentioned Meggan Watterson talking about divinity running through her veins like honey, and it felt so real and truthful to me when I heard that. It tied directly into the work I was doing recently around awareness of acceptance and resistance within me. ​

I came to a point in the breath where I started to experience myself, feeling my intensity, and immediately began to resist it. Sometimes my intensity can feel like a bomb exploding and I’ve naturally built resistance to that. When I was able to catch it in that moment, it’s as if the honey jar broke, and it just started running through my veins. It consumed my being with a suppleness that is also me. That is how I know God within me, and it is available to me any time I can surrender in the moment. 

Honey is such a beautiful metaphor for our own divine nature. From a healing perspective, it has antimicrobial elements. It’s sweet, as is innocence, our true essence, and it is made by bees, which work in community for success of their collective. 

The honey is in the process. It’s the internal viewing that allows us to get glimpses of this gold, and know its truth or existence, so that we can bring just a piece of that in our day to day. 

I heard Jennifer Freed say recently, “When you’re so concerned with taking someone else’s inventory, it’s because you’re terrified to look at your own”. That is one powerful and truthful statement. The bomb I reference feels really out of control, but when I can slow down enough to recognize the implosion, and fall into it, the possibilities feel endless. We so often look outside ourselves for happiness or misery, what could unfold for us if we started looking within? 

An idea generated in the Meditation II class at the Passionist Earth and Spirit Center is from Galileo, the father of science. As a former monk, he researched What Does God know? To know what God knows, one can observe her creations. To know the gardener, study what she grows, and to know thyself, look within. 

Father Joe suggests in class that a goal of meditation is to be with pleasant without attachment, and to be with unpleasant without aversion. To neither avert the implosion or fall into the honey jar.

Our addiction to stimulation, whether that be happiness or suffering, is real. To simply be is boring, but it is in that boredom that glimpses of enlightenment come. In the nothing, there is everything. 

Finding stillness and quiet has been a constant quest for me over the past few weeks, and being a witness to the process allows for grace when honey seems far away. I can always fall into the words of Rumi when that occurs and bring a little sweetness to the present moment.  

“The ability to stand what one sees enables a woman to return to her deep nature, there to be sustained in all thoughts, feelings and actions.” - Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D.


I needed a break in the woods with the wild woman that is me and was able to take some time early last month to get in touch with her. I had the opportunity to read Women Who Run With the Wolves after carrying it around with me for 7 years. I thought I needed space to have an epiphany, to discover the next big thing, because I’ve been feeling the stirring, the shift taking place in my environment, and the message was strong and simple. 

I was woken up in the middle of the night by a lamp turning on in my cabin. It wasn’t until I was journaling about this that I understood the message was that when I deny my intuition, my divinity, I deny God. God was there, in my dreams, in my cells, and a light literally came on to get my attention.

I’ve been told this before, but having the message come direct made it stick. I came home with a focus on my family and my business and the desire to continue to appreciate the gift in each precious moment. 

I love how Estes always mentions the need to feel oneself. We are so quick to mask the intensity that is ourselves, but isn't this living? Depressed? Well let’s just fix that so you can get back to work. Overachiever? You are so successful! Nice? We have some work to do.

We are animals. We have instinctual nature that gives us information about how to live in this world, but we cover it up with pharmaceuticals, busyness and false representations of ourselves to make life easier. Is it really easier though? We only create more resistance in our lives when we cover up who we are to justify our place in the world, or overextend our personalities to make a claim for ourselves. You are enough and you are needed. 

What would happen if we just all fell into ourselves and lived from a place of being true to self first? Maybe we’d finally move to a 4-day work week. We’d have growing pains. We’d have radical forgiveness and softening of hearts and maybe the beginning of world peace. Is that where we’re headed? I think so. 

In a 2018 Speaker Series, Jacque Saltsman shared that we have four equally important tools that aid us in our decision making and living in the world. They are: the mind (thinking), emotions (feeling), body (sensing) and gut (intuiting). We have so much to gain as a culture that prioritizes mind over intuition and stillness. 

When we start to utilize all of these tools, there may be discomfort. There is often pain in the body when the body has been neglected or quieted for a prolonged period. I heard Meggan Watterson recently say that the feeling of being connected to her divine self was like honey running through her veins. What a beautiful way to describe the feeling of divinity when we choose to allow it.   

There is anxiety and depression when one’s life is out of alignment with one’s purpose. If we try to push these feelings aside as soon as they arise because they’re uncomfortable, we’re blatantly ignoring the message we’re receiving from God. This is the time to pay attention. 

Estes said the above quote in reference to when women used to help with child labor. The smell of the blood, the hands on care required for such a divine act; that to be in that experience was a direct connection with their own divine nature, a resource within. 

“She must be willing to feel anxious sometimes, otherwise she might as well have stayed in the nest.” - Estes

As we celebrate gratitude this week, I’d love to share more about the women that make this business possible. They are a greater part of my life than they know. Without their care, your experience wouldn’t be what it is. They are dedicated to making the world a better place and show up for this task every time they step foot through the front door. ​

Betsy Durham joined the team in September of 2017. She came on board directly after the biggest transition the business has had, and has stuck with me through it, so basically, she’s a saint. But really though, we have a beautiful relationship that has been nurtured and grown over the time we’ve spent together. We are each others teachers. When she’s not talking salt at the Cave or a local health fair, she’s running her own businesses in the healing arts. Her newest venture combines her years of experience as a yoga instructor and Reiki Master to coach others through NW Star Alchemy. Check it out!

Urith Smith lives life with the expectation of multiple miracles every day and she receives them because of this. She’s impeccable with her work, whether that’s taking care of herself,  the Cave, or you, she is dedicated to the cause. She chooses positivity and this makes our world a better place to be in. She paves the path to peace. Our conversations around faith are always inner-seeking and her care for humanity follows her footsteps. She’s absolutely the crystal guru of the bunch, so if you have questions about crystal properties, seek her out. 

Sam Seaton joined us after discovering Effiji Breathwork. She works for the Archery Trade Association full-time, and brings a confident kindness to our group. She’s truly the local Katniss Everdeen. Sam studied Ecology and incorporates her knowledge of ecosystems, which require collaboration and harmony to thrive, in her daily life. She lives life between right and left, science and spirit, and does so with openness and grace.

Danette Tharrington is newly relocated from California. She grew up here and has moved back to support her family. Danette is rooted in her faith and taking all the big steps to live life boldly. She comes to us with a background in hospitality and interest in doing things differently. She is a beautiful example of embracing change courageously, which so many of us resist because it is so hard sometimes.

I couldn’t do what I do without an incredible support team, and these women stand firmly in their own light. We are all blessed by their presence. Please thank them the next time you see them for serving our community as they do.

I thought it was time to revisit the practical health applications of booking a Halotherapy session in the Cave but then life intervened with a coffee crisis on a recent Sunday morning. 

It was the third day of our Effiji weekend intensive and all of my stuff was stirred. An Effiji experience is like a long-time meditation practice or years of therapy in a 2-hour session. It’s the most effective holistic tool I’ve used to release trauma and repattern, but it requires a lot of safe space holding. 

I had just enough time to grab a cup of coffee on the go since I didn’t get a chance to make it at home. We’d found out 36 hours before our dog Emma had a large mass on her liver so I spent any free time I had that morning providing her reiki. She rescued me, and she's really what this is all about. 

It was 6:59 when I pulled in the drive through at Heine Bros, and there wasn't a soul in sight. To say I'm not a morning person puts it lightly. I took a deep breath and thought, I’ll just grab a cup at the Shell before hitting the interstate. Crisis averted. 

As I walked through the door I saw a sign that read something about not accepting EBT cards, which I brushed off thinking, I have a credit card so that’s OK. When the cashier told me they were only accepting cash, which I didn’t have, I barked at her that her signs on the door were wrong. 

I stomped out to the car to dig through my change drawer not even caring if I had enough to cover my medium cup, I wasn’t leaving there without it. Maybe I was even looking for a fight. As I came back in, I saw another sign that read CASH ONLY. 

What in the world had gotten into me? I’d spent all weekend in this safe circle of people working toward living consciously and I just unleashed all over that Shell station and attendant.

So I sat to write about the anti-inflammatory properties of salt and the benefits of meditation, and thought, what bullshit. I want to evoke self-reflection. Whatever I googled brought me to this article by Gustavo Razzetti about our human design to be right all of the time. 

The article linked to a TED Talk by self-proclaimed wrongologist Kathryn Shulz. Both authors shared the paralyzing effect of being right. 

What on earth does this have to do with the Cave?

Meditation puts us in confrontation with our true selves. We are so quick to blame our surroundings or circumstances on what needs attention within us. Quieting the mind shines a light on what that is and oftentimes it’s really uncomfortable to feel.

I was so utterly wrong that Sunday morning when I reached outside of myself for a solution that lived internally. I really just needed space to fall apart, and I owe that woman at Shell an apology. I owe myself and those close to me more practice on practicing to be wrong, and the trust that they can hold me when I need to fall. Do you, too?
​
If you really want to discover wonder, you need to step outside of that tiny, terrified space of rightness…and be able to say… maybe I’m wrong. - Kathryn Shulz

I’m watching the sun rise in Atlanta waiting to board a flight to Savannah. It’s rather nostalgic taking me back to many trips through here during my time in animal nutrition. I love landing in a familiar place in what feels like a different life.​

It’s been about 15 hours since our 4 year birthday bash ended and I’m swimming in love and gratitude for the life I’ve built. I’m also feeling the effect of preparing for a day and half Effiji Breath Intensive in Savannah, where my system is stirred and unsure of what lies ahead. This is a true example of duality in creation: throwing a party where my extrovert self is required, then immediately deep diving into inner work. 
We had an amazing day of fun with Casa de Mia, Amos Snider, Juice Cafe, Enchanted Bubbles, Happy Balls!, Free Spirit Delicacies, Energetically in Harmony, Sage’s Botanicals, and Bohemian Monkey. Each one of you shared love and magic to our community and it made me so happy. I have an incredible team of support and it was such a gift seeing everyone in action!

Now off to Savannah. I’m really excited about the chance to observe what a day and a half intensive looks like so I can offer these in Louisville. Currently, our community has the ability to do a single breath with me or Sarah Charmoli, or sign up for a 3-day weekend intensive with founder, Elijah Nisenboim and Director, Sarah (coming up October 4-6 if you’re interested). 

My goal with this trip is to offer something in between for those interested in doing more. As Effiji takes on a greater global presence, the opportunities for full weekends in Louisville may become fewer. 

Effiji is absolutely shadow work. This refers to the parts of ourselves that we tend to cover because they make us uncomfortable. So while I’ve done a lot of this work and feel pretty comfortable with all of my uncomfortable parts, all of me gets stirred before any kind of weekend intensive. 

Whenever I add anything to my plate, like a 4 year birthday celebration with a ton of people I admire and want to please, all of the fear comes up.  I paired that with the stirring that comes from going into a weekend intensive and saw very clearly the masks I wear - Blondie (my nickname for my ego) was out in full force with perfectionism blazing the trail! 

As I land in Savannah, I see another gift off letting myself shine through, that sweet and fiery Nicole that is always there. God bless it feels good to love so freely. 

Thank you all for supporting us for 4 years. Thank you for showing me what love is. I am a love agent for our community and I hope to meet you somewhere along your journey.