“The ability to stand what one sees enables a woman to return to her deep nature, there to be sustained in all thoughts, feelings and actions.” - Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D.


I needed a break in the woods with the wild woman that is me and was able to take some time early last month to get in touch with her. I had the opportunity to read Women Who Run With the Wolves after carrying it around with me for 7 years. I thought I needed space to have an epiphany, to discover the next big thing, because I’ve been feeling the stirring, the shift taking place in my environment, and the message was strong and simple. 

I was woken up in the middle of the night by a lamp turning on in my cabin. It wasn’t until I was journaling about this that I understood the message was that when I deny my intuition, my divinity, I deny God. God was there, in my dreams, in my cells, and a light literally came on to get my attention.

I’ve been told this before, but having the message come direct made it stick. I came home with a focus on my family and my business and the desire to continue to appreciate the gift in each precious moment. 

I love how Estes always mentions the need to feel oneself. We are so quick to mask the intensity that is ourselves, but isn't this living? Depressed? Well let’s just fix that so you can get back to work. Overachiever? You are so successful! Nice? We have some work to do.

We are animals. We have instinctual nature that gives us information about how to live in this world, but we cover it up with pharmaceuticals, busyness and false representations of ourselves to make life easier. Is it really easier though? We only create more resistance in our lives when we cover up who we are to justify our place in the world, or overextend our personalities to make a claim for ourselves. You are enough and you are needed. 

What would happen if we just all fell into ourselves and lived from a place of being true to self first? Maybe we’d finally move to a 4-day work week. We’d have growing pains. We’d have radical forgiveness and softening of hearts and maybe the beginning of world peace. Is that where we’re headed? I think so. 

In a 2018 Speaker Series, Jacque Saltsman shared that we have four equally important tools that aid us in our decision making and living in the world. They are: the mind (thinking), emotions (feeling), body (sensing) and gut (intuiting). We have so much to gain as a culture that prioritizes mind over intuition and stillness. 

When we start to utilize all of these tools, there may be discomfort. There is often pain in the body when the body has been neglected or quieted for a prolonged period. I heard Meggan Watterson recently say that the feeling of being connected to her divine self was like honey running through her veins. What a beautiful way to describe the feeling of divinity when we choose to allow it.   

There is anxiety and depression when one’s life is out of alignment with one’s purpose. If we try to push these feelings aside as soon as they arise because they’re uncomfortable, we’re blatantly ignoring the message we’re receiving from God. This is the time to pay attention. 

Estes said the above quote in reference to when women used to help with child labor. The smell of the blood, the hands on care required for such a divine act; that to be in that experience was a direct connection with their own divine nature, a resource within. 

“She must be willing to feel anxious sometimes, otherwise she might as well have stayed in the nest.” - Estes

As we celebrate gratitude this week, I’d love to share more about the women that make this business possible. They are a greater part of my life than they know. Without their care, your experience wouldn’t be what it is. They are dedicated to making the world a better place and show up for this task every time they step foot through the front door. ​

Betsy Durham joined the team in September of 2017. She came on board directly after the biggest transition the business has had, and has stuck with me through it, so basically, she’s a saint. But really though, we have a beautiful relationship that has been nurtured and grown over the time we’ve spent together. We are each others teachers. When she’s not talking salt at the Cave or a local health fair, she’s running her own businesses in the healing arts. Her newest venture combines her years of experience as a yoga instructor and Reiki Master to coach others through NW Star Alchemy. Check it out!

Urith Smith lives life with the expectation of multiple miracles every day and she receives them because of this. She’s impeccable with her work, whether that’s taking care of herself,  the Cave, or you, she is dedicated to the cause. She chooses positivity and this makes our world a better place to be in. She paves the path to peace. Our conversations around faith are always inner-seeking and her care for humanity follows her footsteps. She’s absolutely the crystal guru of the bunch, so if you have questions about crystal properties, seek her out. 

Sam Seaton joined us after discovering Effiji Breathwork. She works for the Archery Trade Association full-time, and brings a confident kindness to our group. She’s truly the local Katniss Everdeen. Sam studied Ecology and incorporates her knowledge of ecosystems, which require collaboration and harmony to thrive, in her daily life. She lives life between right and left, science and spirit, and does so with openness and grace.

Danette Tharrington is newly relocated from California. She grew up here and has moved back to support her family. Danette is rooted in her faith and taking all the big steps to live life boldly. She comes to us with a background in hospitality and interest in doing things differently. She is a beautiful example of embracing change courageously, which so many of us resist because it is so hard sometimes.

I couldn’t do what I do without an incredible support team, and these women stand firmly in their own light. We are all blessed by their presence. Please thank them the next time you see them for serving our community as they do.

I thought it was time to revisit the practical health applications of booking a Halotherapy session in the Cave but then life intervened with a coffee crisis on a recent Sunday morning. 

It was the third day of our Effiji weekend intensive and all of my stuff was stirred. An Effiji experience is like a long-time meditation practice or years of therapy in a 2-hour session. It’s the most effective holistic tool I’ve used to release trauma and repattern, but it requires a lot of safe space holding. 

I had just enough time to grab a cup of coffee on the go since I didn’t get a chance to make it at home. We’d found out 36 hours before our dog Emma had a large mass on her liver so I spent any free time I had that morning providing her reiki. She rescued me, and she's really what this is all about. 

It was 6:59 when I pulled in the drive through at Heine Bros, and there wasn't a soul in sight. To say I'm not a morning person puts it lightly. I took a deep breath and thought, I’ll just grab a cup at the Shell before hitting the interstate. Crisis averted. 

As I walked through the door I saw a sign that read something about not accepting EBT cards, which I brushed off thinking, I have a credit card so that’s OK. When the cashier told me they were only accepting cash, which I didn’t have, I barked at her that her signs on the door were wrong. 

I stomped out to the car to dig through my change drawer not even caring if I had enough to cover my medium cup, I wasn’t leaving there without it. Maybe I was even looking for a fight. As I came back in, I saw another sign that read CASH ONLY. 

What in the world had gotten into me? I’d spent all weekend in this safe circle of people working toward living consciously and I just unleashed all over that Shell station and attendant.

So I sat to write about the anti-inflammatory properties of salt and the benefits of meditation, and thought, what bullshit. I want to evoke self-reflection. Whatever I googled brought me to this article by Gustavo Razzetti about our human design to be right all of the time. 

The article linked to a TED Talk by self-proclaimed wrongologist Kathryn Shulz. Both authors shared the paralyzing effect of being right. 

What on earth does this have to do with the Cave?

Meditation puts us in confrontation with our true selves. We are so quick to blame our surroundings or circumstances on what needs attention within us. Quieting the mind shines a light on what that is and oftentimes it’s really uncomfortable to feel.

I was so utterly wrong that Sunday morning when I reached outside of myself for a solution that lived internally. I really just needed space to fall apart, and I owe that woman at Shell an apology. I owe myself and those close to me more practice on practicing to be wrong, and the trust that they can hold me when I need to fall. Do you, too?
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If you really want to discover wonder, you need to step outside of that tiny, terrified space of rightness…and be able to say… maybe I’m wrong. - Kathryn Shulz

I’m watching the sun rise in Atlanta waiting to board a flight to Savannah. It’s rather nostalgic taking me back to many trips through here during my time in animal nutrition. I love landing in a familiar place in what feels like a different life.​

It’s been about 15 hours since our 4 year birthday bash ended and I’m swimming in love and gratitude for the life I’ve built. I’m also feeling the effect of preparing for a day and half Effiji Breath Intensive in Savannah, where my system is stirred and unsure of what lies ahead. This is a true example of duality in creation: throwing a party where my extrovert self is required, then immediately deep diving into inner work. 
We had an amazing day of fun with Casa de Mia, Amos Snider, Juice Cafe, Enchanted Bubbles, Happy Balls!, Free Spirit Delicacies, Energetically in Harmony, Sage’s Botanicals, and Bohemian Monkey. Each one of you shared love and magic to our community and it made me so happy. I have an incredible team of support and it was such a gift seeing everyone in action!

Now off to Savannah. I’m really excited about the chance to observe what a day and a half intensive looks like so I can offer these in Louisville. Currently, our community has the ability to do a single breath with me or Sarah Charmoli, or sign up for a 3-day weekend intensive with founder, Elijah Nisenboim and Director, Sarah (coming up October 4-6 if you’re interested). 

My goal with this trip is to offer something in between for those interested in doing more. As Effiji takes on a greater global presence, the opportunities for full weekends in Louisville may become fewer. 

Effiji is absolutely shadow work. This refers to the parts of ourselves that we tend to cover because they make us uncomfortable. So while I’ve done a lot of this work and feel pretty comfortable with all of my uncomfortable parts, all of me gets stirred before any kind of weekend intensive. 

Whenever I add anything to my plate, like a 4 year birthday celebration with a ton of people I admire and want to please, all of the fear comes up.  I paired that with the stirring that comes from going into a weekend intensive and saw very clearly the masks I wear - Blondie (my nickname for my ego) was out in full force with perfectionism blazing the trail! 

As I land in Savannah, I see another gift off letting myself shine through, that sweet and fiery Nicole that is always there. God bless it feels good to love so freely. 

Thank you all for supporting us for 4 years. Thank you for showing me what love is. I am a love agent for our community and I hope to meet you somewhere along your journey.

In a recent interview with The New Yorker, Wendell Berry talked about the importance of conversation and being led in life. 

“Somehow you just get led to where you’re supposed to be, if you’re willing to submit.” 

What a gift! So many times I’ve thought I was in control of my situation, despite how out of control it appeared, but in truth, I was simply submitting. Isn’t it incredible what life provides when you’re in acceptance of what is instead of in resistance? 

I took a trip to Boston a few weeks ago to attend an Effiji Breath weekend intensive as a certified facilitator for the first time. I landed in this intensive differently than I had previous ones. Tai chi and Qi gong complement breathwork on these weekends, because it helps us to understand a language of the body after the breath stirs everything up. 

The martial movements help me to better understand my energy and communicate with greater truth in my relationships. 

When you commit to a family, your life is full of blessings and love and lessons, but not easily personal development. This was the first time I've organized a trip just for me in over 10 years and it was difficult for me to integrate back into the gift that is my current life of responsibility. 

Our Sunday church service helped me to solidify how I can be in all of these roles and not lose myself in the process, and that is to totally embrace who I am. Gerry Boylan said, “Real spiritual growth only occurs when I claim my I am-ness. As long as somebody is doing something to me, I don’t have to be responsible for my feelings.”

Isn’t taking responsibility for oneself the only way to experience true freedom? And what a wonderful way to be in conversation with life! 

Wendell Berry states it so beautifully in his relationship with his wife, Tanya, “I work alone, but always with her presence in my mind. And she is somebody I want to impress. I’m going to write with the hope that it’ll help her to love me. I feel the stakes are pretty high. I’m in a conversation with her that hasn’t ended yet.” 

I am so grateful for all of you that I get to be in conversation with, and faithfully submit to the idea that I have control over the path this life takes.  

Last week my 8 year old asked me one of those pick between these two impossible choices questions. It was something along the line of having all the money in the world or whatever super power you wish, and I responded from a place of knowing that I’d like the super power to show everyone their God-given light that lives within them. I realized as soon as the words were coming out of my mouth that is what I do daily. ​

I write this blog for my creative expression with hopes that you take something away from it. I have to set aside time to simply be in order to create, and I think I’m consistent with it because in my busy life, it’s sometimes the only chance I get in a month to allow the ideas to percolate. 

Today, I prioritized weeding my garden knowing I needed to write. My garden is a lot like my life. I allow it to go and go and go until the right weather conditions allow for easy maintenance. Even then, I leave a lot that will need attention in the future, because it’s never going to be perfect and the harvest eventually outcompetes the weeds. 

Weeding around the dill this morning brought back memories of my grandma, who always had it hanging in her garage for her famous dill pickles. She took that recipe to her grave; none of her 6 children have been able to recreate it. 

But beyond that, the dill was the most delicate. It required deliberation to pull only the weeds that grew right alongside it, camouflaged by twisting stems to the mud. It was such a beautiful metaphor for the way I must work with others when they dive deep into Effiji Breathwork.
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When one commits to truly discovering their light by doing the shadow work required to get there, we become these delicate seedlings that require the gentlest of hands. This means allowing the discomfort, working with a trustworthy mentor to help navigate the process, and practicing patience along the way. 

I’m going to Boston next week to help lead a Megabreath, an Effiji Breath event with 100 participants and 14 Effiji facilitators, 1.5 miles from Walden Pond. If you know anyone in the Boston area, please share this event. I’d love the chance to breathe them and strengthen our connection!

I invite you to join me in the Cave this month to breathe in beauty and discover your light.

One of our offerings at the Cave is Effiji Breathwork. Effiji means to lovingly remove the mask. My role as a practitioner is to lovingly be in relationship with the breather while that mask comes off. It’s sometimes uncomfortable living as our true selves when we’ve been so used to reacting from patterns developed to protect us and hiding behind those masks for so long. In the 2019 Festival of Faiths Sacred Cosmos: Faith and Science, many of the topics revolved around relationship: relationship with the earth, relationship to spirituality, and relationship to one another. As Mother’s Day recently concluded, I recognize the gift of my most intimate relationships on earth, and am so grateful I’m able to be in them with greater presence than ever.  ​

These people, those closest to me, were my "why" behind diving into Effiji Breathwork. My teachers would say that relationships offer the place to practice deep self-discovery. I’ve done my best as a daughter, wife, mother, friend and neighbor but in an effort to be successful in the way I was raised to believe success was measured, I’ve worn a lot of masks. The only way for me to truly show up is to take off my mask so I interact as my vulnerable self and am fully available to those I’m in relationship with. 

During the Festival, Dr. Vivek Murthy gave the example of how relationships have taken a back seat to work. Accomplishment and reputation are emphasized over people - one may receive praise for moving across the country for a career advancement, but likely wouldn’t receive the same praise for moving across the country to be in relationship. 

What the? Who have we become?

Mary Evelyn Tucker stated that we are moving from a Declaration of Independence toward a Declaration of Interdependence incorporating Ecology, Justice and Peace. Good news, right?!? She referred to the concentric circle model of Confucius in her presentation. 

 “Only when personal lives are cultivated are families regulated; only when families are regulated are states governed; only when states are governed is there peace all under Heaven. Therefore from the Son of Heaven to the common people, all, without exception, must take self-cultivation as the root”

Dr. Murphy closed the hour, focusing on the structures that affect loneliness. He said, “There is nothing I have ever prescribed that is as powerful as love." WOW.  Read that again.  What a powerful statement.

I try to wake up and pray to follow God’s lead every morning - I believe my role on this earth is to lead in Love. Being available and vulnerable is an ongoing effort, and most notable in those relationships closest to me, but the potential for what life has in store if I do this is beyond my dreams. As Andrea Lane sang in church recently, “Take off your mask, I can see you anyway”.

Our April Health + Wellness Series: Body, Mind, Spirit, had record breaking attendance and some fantastic speakers from right here in Louisville. I've summarized some of what they shared and included their contact information so you can reach out if you're interested in furthering your journey. Thank you to all that came out to attend - be sure you're receiving our emails for updates on the next one!

Kim Evans, APRN and author of Transforming Health Care shared information about the APOE Gene, a genetic testing that she offers to help identify nutritional programs based on individual DNA make-up. 

As she stated, there’s been an increase in Parkinsons for those that have the 2:2 and 2:3 APOE combination because the brain is 60% fat, making this nutrient so much more important in these genetic types. The APOE combination of a 4:4 (only in 5% of the population) has shown a 90% chance of getting Alzheimers. Your genes are dictating what you should eat.

One of our favorite features of Kim's practice is that all genetic testing is anonymous! Some national life insurance companies have discriminated against people with genetic precursors for disease, so we love they go this extra step to ensure privacy.  

Kim also shared the importance of exercise, sleep and spirituality.

Jaime Seelmeyer, LPCC, M.Ed., CYT of Omology shared many descriptions on how depression can show up in the body, but my biggest takeaway was when she said, 'You are your greatest advocate' and to listen to your intuition when speaking with your doctor. 

From a physiological perspective, depression is oftentimes accompanied by chronic pain, digestive issues or a prolonged period of anxiety. She offered many nutritional suggestions such as vitamins D, B6, B12, and C, DHEA and amino acids, and suggested ruling out other issues with hormones, candida, inflammation, heavy metal toxicity and blue light exposure. 

One Eastern medicine approach, incredibly important and oftentimes overlooked in Western medicine, is an evaluation of prana, chi, or qi, otherwise known as life force energy. There are many practices to help with this including: speaking your truth or asking for help, laughing and crying, singing, chanting, speaking affirmations, breathwork, yoga, Ayurveda, Earthing or being in nature, and spiritual development. 

Patty Matsumoto with Energetically in Harmony spoke to the vibrational frequencies of emotion and physical matter, and how one can affect their own vibration with the use of crystal energy. 

“The government recognized the ability of quartz to hold information in 1958, which is why it is used as a carrier in our electronics today. Marcel Vogel went from an IBM researcher to crystal quartz enthusiast, where the Vogel cut was created for it's ability to direct and transfer energy." 

Patty also led participants in an energetic clearing and guided meditation around the Four Agreements, based on ancient Toltec wisdom. What are the agreements?
Be impeccable with your word.
Don't take anything personally.
Don’t make assumptions.
Always do your best. 

Below are some of the references our speakers suggested - please reach out with any questions you may have about the information they shared this month!​

The Perfect Gene Diet - Pamela McDonald
Emotional Intelligence for Performance Blog - Josh Freedman
The Body Keeps Score - Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk
You Can Heal Your Life -  Louise Hay
The Four Agreements - don Miguel Ruiz