In a recent interview with The New Yorker, Wendell Berry talked about the importance of conversation and being led in life. 

“Somehow you just get led to where you’re supposed to be, if you’re willing to submit.” 

What a gift! So many times I’ve thought I was in control of my situation, despite how out of control it appeared, but in truth, I was simply submitting. Isn’t it incredible what life provides when you’re in acceptance of what is instead of in resistance? 

I took a trip to Boston a few weeks ago to attend an Effiji Breath weekend intensive as a certified facilitator for the first time. I landed in this intensive differently than I had previous ones. Tai chi and Qi gong complement breathwork on these weekends, because it helps us to understand a language of the body after the breath stirs everything up. 

The martial movements help me to better understand my energy and communicate with greater truth in my relationships. 

When you commit to a family, your life is full of blessings and love and lessons, but not easily personal development. This was the first time I've organized a trip just for me in over 10 years and it was difficult for me to integrate back into the gift that is my current life of responsibility. 

Our Sunday church service helped me to solidify how I can be in all of these roles and not lose myself in the process, and that is to totally embrace who I am. Gerry Boylan said, “Real spiritual growth only occurs when I claim my I am-ness. As long as somebody is doing something to me, I don’t have to be responsible for my feelings.”

Isn’t taking responsibility for oneself the only way to experience true freedom? And what a wonderful way to be in conversation with life! 

Wendell Berry states it so beautifully in his relationship with his wife, Tanya, “I work alone, but always with her presence in my mind. And she is somebody I want to impress. I’m going to write with the hope that it’ll help her to love me. I feel the stakes are pretty high. I’m in a conversation with her that hasn’t ended yet.” 

I am so grateful for all of you that I get to be in conversation with, and faithfully submit to the idea that I have control over the path this life takes.  

Last week my 8 year old asked me one of those pick between these two impossible choices questions. It was something along the line of having all the money in the world or whatever super power you wish, and I responded from a place of knowing that I’d like the super power to show everyone their God-given light that lives within them. I realized as soon as the words were coming out of my mouth that is what I do daily. ​

I write this blog for my creative expression with hopes that you take something away from it. I have to set aside time to simply be in order to create, and I think I’m consistent with it because in my busy life, it’s sometimes the only chance I get in a month to allow the ideas to percolate. 

Today, I prioritized weeding my garden knowing I needed to write. My garden is a lot like my life. I allow it to go and go and go until the right weather conditions allow for easy maintenance. Even then, I leave a lot that will need attention in the future, because it’s never going to be perfect and the harvest eventually outcompetes the weeds. 

Weeding around the dill this morning brought back memories of my grandma, who always had it hanging in her garage for her famous dill pickles. She took that recipe to her grave; none of her 6 children have been able to recreate it. 

But beyond that, the dill was the most delicate. It required deliberation to pull only the weeds that grew right alongside it, camouflaged by twisting stems to the mud. It was such a beautiful metaphor for the way I must work with others when they dive deep into Effiji Breathwork.
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When one commits to truly discovering their light by doing the shadow work required to get there, we become these delicate seedlings that require the gentlest of hands. This means allowing the discomfort, working with a trustworthy mentor to help navigate the process, and practicing patience along the way. 

I’m going to Boston next week to help lead a Megabreath, an Effiji Breath event with 100 participants and 14 Effiji facilitators, 1.5 miles from Walden Pond. If you know anyone in the Boston area, please share this event. I’d love the chance to breathe them and strengthen our connection!

I invite you to join me in the Cave this month to breathe in beauty and discover your light.