I needed a break in the woods with the wild woman that is me and was able to take some time early last month to get in touch with her. I had the opportunity to read Women Who Run With the Wolves after carrying it around with me for 7 years. I thought I needed space to have an epiphany, to discover the next big thing, because I’ve been feeling the stirring, the shift taking place in my environment, and the message was strong and simple.
I was woken up in the middle of the night by a lamp turning on in my cabin. It wasn’t until I was journaling about this that I understood the message was that when I deny my intuition, my divinity, I deny God. God was there, in my dreams, in my cells, and a light literally came on to get my attention.
I’ve been told this before, but having the message come direct made it stick. I came home with a focus on my family and my business and the desire to continue to appreciate the gift in each precious moment.
I love how Estes always mentions the need to feel oneself. We are so quick to mask the intensity that is ourselves, but isn't this living? Depressed? Well let’s just fix that so you can get back to work. Overachiever? You are so successful! Nice? We have some work to do.
We are animals. We have instinctual nature that gives us information about how to live in this world, but we cover it up with pharmaceuticals, busyness and false representations of ourselves to make life easier. Is it really easier though? We only create more resistance in our lives when we cover up who we are to justify our place in the world, or overextend our personalities to make a claim for ourselves. You are enough and you are needed.
What would happen if we just all fell into ourselves and lived from a place of being true to self first? Maybe we’d finally move to a 4-day work week. We’d have growing pains. We’d have radical forgiveness and softening of hearts and maybe the beginning of world peace. Is that where we’re headed? I think so.
In a 2018 Speaker Series, Jacque Saltsman shared that we have four equally important tools that aid us in our decision making and living in the world. They are: the mind (thinking), emotions (feeling), body (sensing) and gut (intuiting). We have so much to gain as a culture that prioritizes mind over intuition and stillness.
When we start to utilize all of these tools, there may be discomfort. There is often pain in the body when the body has been neglected or quieted for a prolonged period. I heard Meggan Watterson recently say that the feeling of being connected to her divine self was like honey running through her veins. What a beautiful way to describe the feeling of divinity when we choose to allow it.
There is anxiety and depression when one’s life is out of alignment with one’s purpose. If we try to push these feelings aside as soon as they arise because they’re uncomfortable, we’re blatantly ignoring the message we’re receiving from God. This is the time to pay attention.
Estes said the above quote in reference to when women used to help with child labor. The smell of the blood, the hands on care required for such a divine act; that to be in that experience was a direct connection with their own divine nature, a resource within.
“She must be willing to feel anxious sometimes, otherwise she might as well have stayed in the nest.” - Estes